You're Not You When You're at Walmart
So i was just on my Tumblr dash when I tumbled (haha) upon this gifset. No, not really, it wasn't accidental, I was looking for Poughkeepsie tags hoping I would find a picture of the Walmart we were in.
If you read my previous post about our first stop and facing our epic journey in Poughkeepsie at a Walmart then I TOLD YOU SO. Remember I said Poughkeepsie could've been where the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy was living? Yeah, I have evidence he does!
Behold The Poughkeepsie Tapes! A documentary horror film about a serial killer in Poughkeepsie, a dark, scary, and wireless place. When I say wireless, I mean that literally. They had no working payphones at Walmart. We took the cab to go there around 6 or 7 pm I don't remember, maybe it was 8. And we were happily shopping, discovering how cheap and less expensive the products are compared to Canadian stores. A case of water bottle was like a buck. Our ecstatic feelings were soon replaced by anxiety and worry because we lost track of the time and it was already 11 pm. Although Irene and I are "adults" we're not exactly 35 years old.
So, we asked a cashier (by the way, everyone there had a southern accent and was rude and intimidating. They totally knew we weren't from there) where the payphones were and she just directed us to go to the electronics section of Walmart. Really, lady? She wasn't even clear about it, we had to decipher what she meant.
We grew our courage and asked the not-so-friendly-and-approachable customer service of the great Walmart and told us that the payphone was outside and it's not working. We checked where the payphone was and it was nowhere "outside". We figured it's probably 5 kilometeres away from the parking lot.
For some weird reason, maybe we looked like wet puppies, one of the associates offered us to use her cellphone. So we called Jose, our previous cab driver, who brought his Doritos-nibbler daughter with him, but he wasn't picking up. We came to a conclusion that he either tucked his daughter in to sleep or he was out selling illegal items. He looked very sketchy.
We did not panic yet. We looked up their directory and called up another sketchy cab company. Hooray, a cab is finally coming to pick us up!
Nope, we waited an hour outside Walmart. No cab. Past Walmart's roof lies the Poughkeepsie murderer, the Poughkeepsie creeps, the Poughkeepsie kidnappers, the Poughkeepsie rapists. So we dared not to step out.
It turned out that there was no cab to come to us and we panicked and we died.
No, we didn't die because we were so smart that we realized there was a Mcdonald's inside Walmart and they had free wi-fi and we downloaded a free VoIP app and called the annoying and unreliable cab company. Later, we got in the cab and drove away to our hotel room safe and sound. No Poughkeepsie murderer. We were scared the entire time because we were three helpless little ducklings thinking we'll never make it home.
Thankfully, we did.
Because The Poughkeepsie Tapes is fictitious.
